Joel and the Retro Hotties

While going through my picks for this year's Top 5 Celebrity Hotties I started flashing back to some of the celebs that I was infatuated with as a young child.  These are not from any particular era, just some ladies I that I thought were gorgeous back in the day.  Mind you, I will be dating myself.  And if you are too young to remember most of these women...fuck you.  Haha...just kidding I love you.  I started with just 5, but realized that I had to add 5 more.  Let's take a trip in the Way Back Machine shall we?

10. Debbie Gibson (Pop star)

I think I started liking her because my older brother liked her and had her singles.  She was Britney Spears before Birtney Spears...except she wore more women's blazers with shoulder pads.  I don't remember much about her except everyone complained about her nose.  I thought it looked fine.  I can't sing or remember any of her songs though.

9. Heather Thomas (Fall Guy)

I didn't watch this show at all.  I think my uncled loved this show (along with CHiPs and Magnum PI).  I just remember the hot blonde.  My brother (again a big influence) had a door-sized poster of Heather Thomas.  The picture above.  I remember looking at it and thinking...what's she so surprised about? And also...who the hell gave her a towel?

8. Gadget (Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers)

Yeah say what you will but Gadget was hot.  Haha.  She was curvy, had big ears, and knew her way around tools, it's no wonder Chip n' Dale always fought over her affections.  Too bad she was only about 1 foot tall.  I hoped I could maybe be shrunk down to size so I could hook up with her.

7. Michelle Thomas (Myra Monkhouse from Family Matters)

The curvaceous girlfriend of Steve Urkel, Myra Monkhouse, was one of the hotter members of the TGIF family.  Unfortunately her advances never really went anywhere as Steve was always smitten with Laura Winslow.  I have no clue why.  Unfortunately Michelle Thomas passed away in 1998 due to cancer.  She was a very beautiful actress and I'm proud to have her on this list.

6. Lori Loughlin (Aunt Becky from Full House)

Oh Aunt Becky.  It must have been hard for DJ and Stephanie to compete with any guys with Aunt Becky always around.  She tied down Jesse Katsopolis early on and became a permanent fixture of this show.  She had a very pretty face, a nice frame, and most of all she seemed like a really nice person.  Well she'd have to be to put up with all of Jesse's nonsense.

5. Heather Langenkamp (Just the Ten of Us/Nightmare on Elm Street)

I used to love the Growing Pains spinoff Just the Ten of Us.  I'm not sure why, might've had something to do with all of the cute girls on that show.  My favorite of them all was the hardcore religious nut Marie Lubbock.  I'm not sure f I started liking her on this show or from her appearance on Nightmare on Elm Street, but I remember finding her extremely attractive.  Although she stopped Freddy from invading her dreams (until part 3 where she got pwnd) I would always welcome her into mine.

4. Tiffany Amber Thiessen (Kelly Kapowski from Saved by the Bell)

Kelly Kapowski.  She was the hottest thing going when Saved by the Bell was on.  She was personified hotness.  Let's see: cheerleader - check, smoking hot bod - check, beautiful face - check, wore spandex pants - check.  Kelly Kapowski was THE girl, and most importantly, she did it without being blonde.  She remained hot, I'd say got even hotter, when she added some weight and got thick  What's she up to now?  Making guest appearances in my dreams.

3. Christine Lakin (Al from Step by Step)

One of my first crushes not influenced by my older brother.  I remember thinking Al, the tough tomboy of the Lamber family, was extremely cute, before she became all girly.  I think we were about the same age, so I thought I had a shot at her if we ever met.  Oh the fantasies I had...I would dream about taking her to that amusement park they were at in the intro (with the fake ass beach) and winning her stuffed animals.  Haha.  She only got hotter as the show went along.  I used a more recent picture of her because a picture of her as a kid wearing overalls would be creepy.  But as creepy as a couple of cartoon characters? Who knows.

2. April O'neil (TMNT)

Something about that yellow jumpsuit just did it for me.  She had the short haircut, was on the news, and hung out with 4 green guys.  What a gal!  I wanted to take her to the back of turtle van and show her bo staff.  Haha.  Not really, I think I was too young to have such awesome thoughts.  I just thought she was pretty, and had a very curvy body for a cartoon character.  The original movie version of April was a bit of a disappointment, but the second and third movie version (same girl) of April was pretty hot.

1.  Paula Abdul (Pop star/former Laker girl)

She had me when she started dancing with the cartoon cat.  Paula Abdul had some great hits including but not limited to: Cold Hearted Snake, Forever Your Girl, Straight Up, Rush, and Opposites Attract.  In hindsight Opposites Attract is not that great of a song, the video was just rad.  The others however still stand the test of time, and will find themselves on my playlists from time to time.  I thought she was gorgeous.  She had a very pretty face, was kinda thick, and she could dance like crazy.  I think my first boner was to the Cold Hearted Snake video.  I think she was wearing a pilots hat of some kind.  Haha.

That's my list.  What'd you think?  Who were your retro crushes while you were growing up?  Let me know.  Stay tuned for Joel's Top 5 Celebrity Hotties.

I got stoned...kidney stoned

After dinner excitement

My adventure started at home.  After a great steak dinner my stomach started feeling a little weird, nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing that some good toilet time wouldn't cure.  As I sat on the throne the pain started to get worst.  It was that kind of stomach ache that just stirs in your stomach and you ask for forgiveness for whatever it is you did to deserve this torture.  I thought that was the worst of it, oh how I was wrong.  After the toilet, I slunk over to my bed and tried to lie down to alleviate the pain.  That's when the real pain set in.  The pain began to localize to my left side, first it felt pretty dull, and then it got sharp and then I started feeling nauseous.  I decided to call my mom to come pick me up and take me to an urgent care facility.

There was nothing "urgent" or "caring" about this Urgent Care

My younger brother, Jay, lives closer so he and his wife came to get me instead.  It was tough to walk, and the ride over to Regional Medical Center of San Jose on Jackson Ave. was excruciating.  When I got in to the hospital it's always jarring how un-alarmed and ineffectual everyone there is.  I understand, they see it all the time, and they see a lot worse, still though a little concern could have gone a long way.  So after talking to one guy, he sends me to a room, mind you still in excruciating pain, and I give my insurance information.  Then they send me back out into the waiting room, did I mention I'm still in excruciating pain?  After about 20 minutes of waiting they ask me to take a urine sample then I was finally off to a room.  I sit in there for another 20 or so minutes, until someone comes and finally gives me something for the pain.  After a few minutes of unsuccessfully putting a needle in my arm (ouch) they went and put the IV in my hand.  They gave me some meds that really helped.  Funny story about the nurse who was putting in the IV.  So it comes in pieces, tubes, needle, tape and whatnot.  She lays everything down on my crotch area and I'm like whoa...I guess my stomach was too bulbous, haha.  But if that wasn't enough she keeps picking up and putting down stuff and she keeps seriously grazing my piece.  Haha.  If I weren't in pain I would have had an embarrassing moment, she was cute too.

Total Recall

After awhile they moved me, in my bed, to get a CT Scan.  On the way there I saw a sad scene, a large family was gathered outside of a room and people were crying.  I think someone just passed away.  Put my pain in perspective for a bit.  The CT Scan was fun.  Sat in the middle of what looked like a giant donut and it told me to hold my breath as it scanned me.  I felt like I was in Total Recall or something.  They wheel me back to my room, passed the grieving family and I wait for results from the doctor.

Instant Get Well Cards

After I get my CT Scan and the meds dull the pain, I have enough strength to take a few pictures and post them on Facebook.  The response was overwhelming from people cracking jokes to wishing me well, it made me feel really cared for.  Thanks to everyone who commented, it really helped pass the time in there.

The Diagnosis

I meet up with my brother and sister and they keep me company for awhile.  I thank them for the ride and company and they head off just as my mom and older brother arrive.  The doctor finally comes in and confirms that I indeed have a kidney stone, official diagnosis: Left ureterolithiasis.  She says I have a few in my right kidney as well, apparently there is no pain when they're in there, but once they start moving down the tubes, thats when the pain sets in.  The pain starts coming back so they inject me with some killer drugs, something stronger than morphine...after that moment I was feeling pretty...hiiiiiiiiiiiigh.  We head out  and I grab my prescribed meds.  Ready for more pain the next day.

WonderCon 2011 Day 2

Moscone Center, San Francisco, CA

Saturday April 2, 2011

Day 2: Thunder-Thunder--Thunder--Thunder Cats Ho!

For Day 2 I decided to take the BART with my little brother, Jay.  It was a pretty quick ride, about an hour and it let out right inside the Westfield mall in SF, which is right next to the Moscone Center.  Upon arrival I noticed a much larger amount of people in attendance.  On the downside that meant it was a lot more crowded, but on the upside that meant there were a lot more awesome costumes.

I get in and start wandering the floor by myself trying to plan out the items I want to buy.  I came in with a set amount of cash and I was determined to leave with my wallet empty...and I pretty much did.  I spent most of my money at the Graphitti Designs booth where I bought the WonderCon shirt, 2 Green Lantern Rings, a Green Lantern shirt, and a Monroeville Zombies shirt.  I also picked up a belated birthday gift for my friend in Artist's Alley.  It was a beautiful piece of art by artist Britney Lee (http://britsketch.blogspot.com/).  I couldn't leave WonderCon without buying a few figures so instead of my usual Bleach figures I picked up a couple of MegaMan ones.  If you've never bought a Japanese figure like this before, from what I can tell it seems like they treat them like trading cards.  You buy a box and you don't know which figure you're getting.  I was fearing  ending up with Roll, but luckily I got MegaMan X and Bass.  Not bad at all.  I also picked up a Lion-O figure which looks pretty wicked.

After all was said and done I was still in the mood to do some shopping.  I went online and bought 3 awesome Bishoujo Statues via Amazon.  Check them out:

Well that's about it for WonderCon.  I don't have enough energy to make it on Sunday but be sure to check back here when I write about my experience at my first ever Comic Con in San Diego in July.  Peace.

WonderCon 2011 Day 1

Moscone Center, San Francisco, CA
Friday April 1, 2011

*Helpful tips to WonderCon-ing*

Dress accordingly.  Unless you are dressing up in costume be sure to wear something appropriate.  If it is cold and rainy, try to brave the elements because once inside it is a sweaty affair.  I suggest a breathable shirt, like a workout shirt under your Frak You t-shirt.  Bring a backpack.  This was the first year I decided to bring a backpack, and man what a lifesaver.  I was able to put my swag and most of the items I bought inside.  Take water.  As I mentioned about, a very sweaty affair awaits you inside the exhibit halls, be sure to properly hydrate.

Day 1: In Blackest Day in Darked Night...
The Arrival

Before we even get into WonderCon we see a line forming outside and it says S.H.I.E.L.D. badges...so of course we hop in line and after a lengthy wait we are officially members of S.H.I.E.L.D. (rad).  We arrive around 1pm (doors opened at 12pm) so there was no line to get in.  We just go through and get our badges and I'm excited about our first bit of swag.  A program guide and an advertisement for a game...sauce of weakness.  We do a quick walkthrough and immediately, what is now becoming a WonderCon tradition, we purchase our official WonderCon T-shirt.  Great design this year.  We get hungry so we head off to eat at Mo's Grill.  It was good.

You call this swag?

After lunch, it's straight into the Esplanade for what would be 3 straight hours, culminating in probably the biggest panel at WonderCon this year: Green Lantern the movie.  First we sit through Falling Skies, a new series to air on TNT starring Noah Wyle.  Unforutnately Noah Wyle wasn't in attendance during this panel.  The actor who played his son was however, and boy was he douching up the room.  He just didn't seem genuine at all.  The other two that were up there for Falling Skies: Melinda Hsu and Mark Verheiden were much more enjoyable.  The show looks pretty good, with some good special effects.  Its a survival show that follows a militia as they try to survive against aliens who have already invaded the Earth.  I'll give it a shot.  Next we were treated to a full episode of Nikita, a very good episode, that airs this Thursday...once again they move the story forward.

Finally we got to the Green Lantern movie and this panel did not disappoint.  Writer Geoff Johns comes out and shows us some exclusive clips from the movie and they are awesome.  After the clip Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds join Geoff on stage.  Ryan Reynolds is instantly funny, witty, and charming, just like in all of his performances.  He cracks some great jokes and answers every question with what seems like sincerity.  Blake Lively doesn't get asked too many questions but she seems really cool.  My favorite thing about that panel was that the two actors, who are pretty big stars, looked like they were having a great time and genuinely wanted to be there.  We also got to walk away with some swag: Green Lantern t-shirt and lanyard.

Now that's swag.

Finally we get to the floor.  I take some pictures with and of some people with great costumes.  Some of my favorites are the girl in the smokin' Green Lantern costume, the White Ranger, and a very original Zombie Stormtrooper.

We didn't have much time to shop around so I didn't buy anything besides the shirt and a couple of Green Lantern rings.  Extremely geeky.  Looking forward to Day 2 tomorrow.